Sunday, 26 July 2015

The Friendly Ghost Writes: WHY MEN CHEAT

The following composition is based on the thoughts of my homie [codename: Ali, The Friendly Goat Ghost]. He is a Nigerian Medical Student, Writer, Potential Author, Poet and Thinker who prefers to remain anonymous and hence goes by the nickname/ codename in RED.
He is currently working on his first book, This is gonna be his uhhhhmmmmm, 3rd article. He has written numerous unpublished poems (I dunno what is holding him back) & has not repented from thinking.

He currently submitted a post titled: WHY JOHNNY Cheated on Yemi Alade MEN CHEAT
Feel am!!!


When I started writing this article, I started with the intention of telling ladies Why Men Cheat. But after questioning my colleagues and getting a call from my dearest, I realised that cheating was a far bigger problem than I envisaged. I always thought of it as a simple thing.

Guy meet girl.
Guy and girl marry
Time passes,
Guy cheats.
Very simple right? but it turns out that cheating is a complex problem. But seeing that I am a friendly ghost, I am here to prevent/solve the problem, by first identifying the reasons why they occur.

We need to first state the obvious, some men cheat because they want to have it all. They want the stunning wife with the body of a 22 year old, they want 7 children, they want a mature woman, they want a God fearing woman who can give a lap dance, and they also want a woman who is energetic in the kitchen and the bedroom. And they need a good mother for their children who will go clubbing with them. You see how impossible the standard is?

Also, men cheat because it is socially acceptable for them to cheat. Don’t roll your eyes at me girl, This Is AFRICA. Traditionally, Africans do not say the man is cheating, they say he is looking for a new wife. Do I need to elucidate this?

It is also possible that the cheating man married the wrong woman. I am not a preacher of love, but I believe that for two people to be married, and stay married, they need to agree on a lot of things, and differ on a lot of things. But if for some yet to be determined reason a man and his wife are not compatible, or are not willing to fix their marital problems, the man only needs time before he starts hunting for bushmeat.

Another sad reality is that most women change after “he” puts a ring on it, because they feel getting married is the end of the fine girl race. I hate to burst your bubble sister, it is only a check point where you change from attracting him to keeping him. Yes, having a baby will fuck up your body to some extent (ask the doctor), but you can make an effort. Even though he mocks you for spending hours doing your make up, deep down he loves it when you step out with your cute made up face.

One other thing that drives men out of the house as well as stops bachelors from tying the knot is the crazy bitch attitude some women develop when they change their name. You may think I am exaggerating, but you only need to watch the movie “why did I get married” to fully understand what I mean. 
Girls, when you run your mouth so fast, you make your man run out the house so fast.

Now, the wise ones among you, may have noticed that I am only addressing the issue of married couples. This is because if you both have not promised “TO HAVE AND TO HOLD”, then you don’t have the right to tell anybody to “have and hold” just you...meaning O.Y.O (On Your Own) is your case and cheating is a relative term which depends on whether or not you catch him.

Having exhausted all the battery on my laptop, and having typed more words than I think is necessary, I rest my case.

- Ali The Friendly Ghost.

Food and Cooking!!!!!😄 is another factor.
Men may cheat if the woman cannot the adding-salt-to-indomie kind of cooking.

Okay, Bye.

***Sorry, Wait!!!,

Watch out for my future post on WHY WOMEN CHEAT!!!

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