Friday, 29 July 2016

If You Love Him/ Her


LOVE is the hottest topic in town, and everybody seems to know a thing or two about it. But because I like you my reader, I will share some of my own knowledge with you.
The following tips are important for those who intend to remain in love with those they fall in love with.

TEACH HIM/HER: Humans are the most complicated creatures I have come across, and we are all different. Even twins could be alarmingly dissimilar. So it is important that you let your loved one know you. This may involve direct or indirect means, but the most important thing is making them know you.

UNDERSTAND HIM/HER: Sequel to the first tip, you also have to understand your partner. Take note that I didn’t say you should know them. I said you should understand them. This means you should not just know that she would get angry if you don’t call back, but it means you should know that she will be angry with the cab driver that gave her bad money, and you should also know why she hates bad money………you know what, I am not your dictionary. Go and find out what it means to understand.

INTRODUCE HIM/HER PROPERLY: the emphasis here is on ‘properly’. Don’t go around introducing him/her as my friend. Even the words ‘best friend’ will not do. You have to clarify what level your relationship is. That is, boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancé/fiancée, husband/wife. The reason behind this is to prevent any misunderstanding…and increase your chances of living long. Imagine what would happen if the person you think is your fiancée/fiancé only looks upon you as there FINANCER. To avoid the unthinkable, you better think and act right.

SPOIL HIM/HER: For the continuity of the human race, it is very important to spoil your partner. This is because if you don’t do it, someone else will. Humans are genetically designed to be spoilt. Who says you can’t get surprise gifts? Who says you can’t plan dates from your pocket. Who says you can’t cook a nice meal. Get off your egomaniacal arse and spoil your beloved.

ENDURE HIM/HER: Yes, you are seeing correctly. I didn’t say ENJOY. I said ENDURE. This is because no one is perfect. Mr tall handsome and sexy may snore in bed. Miss long legs, full chest may fart a lot. Whatever their deficiency, as long as they thick more positive boxes, you may have to endure some shit. Also, given the fact that you, yourself are full of shit, learn to cut your lover some slack..

Just before you make plans on how to follow this tips to the letter, remember it takes two to Tango, and it takes two or more to Tangle. Therefore, for these tips to work, you and your partner(S) have to agree and be committed to following these tips. Happy rainy season (weather for two – or more)

Tze Ghost has spoken
Ali Tze Ghost